Tuesday, January 31, 2017


If your wondering why I dont write
Or paint
Or draw anymore

Its probably because I dont feel like it has any purpose, or importance to anyone anymore.

I used to do it to find myself
Sometimes I do it to reach to you
To record memories
To make something....anything.

Then I found I had no impact
Except misery and hardship
I am pretty good at being gloom.

And okay, i know,
I live the comfort life.
Of privilage and opportunity.

So things are given.
It doesnt matter why.
I know I have to be grateful, and I am.
But sometimes its hard to be grateful
When you are consistently reminded
Of your menial existance.

I think I have been grappling
With my self worth for a while.

Who am I to you?
Does what I say matter?
Are you listening?

And its th main reason
I ask and whine and beg
For others to make me feel
Like i mean something, to someone.

Because deep down
A truth I have kept for a long time.
I dont matter.
I make no change.
I can be forgotten. Replaced.

I am insignificant.
And it hurts when you tell me so.

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