Monday, July 31, 2017

Some women

On the topic of guilt and shame.

Some women, they feel so useless.
They think the only way for them to reach
The ultimate sacrifice
The ultimate purpose of their pathetic lives.
To feel like "they"ve given their all.

Is if they gave birth.
And all will go away.
Clean slate. 
Now you brought a miracle.
Now all retribution is paid. 
The guilt for asking too much
Wanting too many.
The dissapointment
In not being strong enough
Smart enough. Good enough.
The limits we have. 
Not funny. Not rocking your world.

The ugly in the mirror
Overshadowed by the pretty little bundle in their arms.

And I am selfish. 
But I wont be that selfish. 
Thats where I draw the line. 

I said some women.
And i am not one of them.

G and s

You dont know what its like
To be a constant dissapointment. 

Especially when everyone tells you
Insist to you
Lie to you

You are some gift

I hear it all the time in my head.

Everything you do
Is just to mask all this guilt

Guilt and shame.
The g and s.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Late night

When you said your biggest worry was for me. It made me feel deeply conflicted inside. I told myself I would be selfish. And be firm. And put my foot down. I will not be pushed around I said. 

Then late night came
And all i did

And fly again.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Your eyes

Your eyes
Are red and weary
And they
Scare me more
Than i thought they would

Because they are proof
Every night
Of all that
you give me

And clear
Of what
 i cant