Some women

On the topic of guilt and shame.

Some women, they feel so useless.

They think the only way for them to reach

The ultimate sacrifice

The ultimate purpose of their pathetic lives.

To feel like "they"ve given their all.

Is if they gave birth.

And all will go away.

Clean slate. 

Now you brought a miracle.

Now all retribution is paid. 

All.

The guilt for asking too much

Wanting too many.

The dissapointment

In not being strong enough

Smart enough. Good enough.

The limits we have. 

Not funny. Not rocking your world.

The ugly in the mirror

Overshadowed by the pretty little bundle in their arms.

And I am selfish. 

But I wont be that selfish. 

Thats where I draw the line. 

I said some women.

Some.

And i am not one of them.

G and s

You dont know what its like

To be a constant dissapointment. 

Especially when everyone tells you

Insist to you

Lie to you

You are some gift

I hear it all the time in my head.

Everything you do

Is just to mask all this guilt

Guilt and shame.

The g and s.

Late night

When you said your biggest worry was for me. It made me feel deeply conflicted inside. I told myself I would be selfish. And be firm. And put my foot down. I will not be pushed around I said. 

Then late night came

And all i did

Was 

fall

In

Love.

And fly again.

Your eyes

Your eyes

Are red and weary

And they

Scare me more

Than i thought they would

Because they are proof

Every night

Of all that

you give me

And clear

Of what

 i cant

Give

You