Woke af

I feel like its a hard 

but necessary thing to say.

My heaven

is not with you,

Human.

But, 

I want to go to heaven

With you.

Can?

I hope

I hope you hold me

Like I am new

I hope you see me

Sharing the same view

I hope you keep telling me

All those things 

You will never miss

I hope you share with me

Many more

Countless bliss

I hope you think of this

As once and only

I hope you love me such

As if you will lose me.

Talk to me

Its hard to talk to someone

You fear of losing

And want to keep

Like it was easier when

I knew you would leave

And now its different

Because you should

I feel like its easier to talk to the wall

The phone

Trevor

The demon

And it gets harder and harder

For me to tell you

I am a mess

I cant do this

Bleed

I feel like

We tell each other

Things we dont mean than 

Those we do.

I feel like

We have to fight each other 

More than

Fight for one another

And I feel like

We know the problem

But dont know how 

To back pedal

And start over

And connect again

This love

We promise

Is merely held

By a string

If we cut

We lose each other

If we hold

We bleed trying

We bleed trying.

Repeat

Repeat this until you remember.

I will not beg.
I will not ask.
I will not reach out.
And fly anymore.

I will not beg.
I will not ask.
I will not reach out.
And fly anymore.

Hang me now
While I am still compliant
The worst yet to come.

I dont know how to ask for things

Without looking stupid. 

Its like I know all the things I need

But I dont know how to get them

And so I end up making a mistake

And losing them. 

I dont even know why I should ask

When I feel it should have been mine. 

But its not.

And this is how it is.

And so I ask. 

Stuck in this perpetual cycle again.