Why am I afraid, I sometimes wish I could tell them why. But in reality I never can. There are some things that we take in together. Like war. Suffering of a family. Loss of a friend. But there are a moments we are like the caged mannequin with a hungry lion. Standing there. No where to run. Only a dagger in hand.
Also, there are moments, where we take courage together. When there is one person who would dare to speak up for the rights of a nation against a cruel leader. When as a team we stand together to present a case in debate. As we stand together against the world.
And there are also times, we have to take courage, alone. Because no one can go through what you go through. Somehow you were alone with the dagger in hand, and you alone can see the enemy. Yes, there is that choice of waiting. I sometimes wait. I wait for someone to come and hold me when I stand paralyzed, telling me, I will be safe. I will be safe. Yet the moment never comes. It never comes.
That realization. So heavy. So necessary. Out of nowhere, everything seems so bigger. Seems so harder. Seems so impossible.
Because I have chosen to not stare paralyzed anymore.
No one cheers for this victory. I haven't won. I have only made my move. Yet my heart soars with recognition and pride. This is only one step. One step. For chance. For defense. For courage.
3 Qul and Ayat Kursi.
Why are you afraid? It was because I thought I was alone. I was alone with evil. With guilt.
And I want to be free. I want to take back my heart.
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