3 Impossible wants

Kadang bila diuji dengan ujian yang sama berkali-kali. Kita tahu sebenarnya, somewhere, ada benda yang kita buat tak betul sebenarnya. Cuma kita je yang tidak tahu tang mana yang silapnya. Dan asyik kena cuba, dan cuba. Makin cuba. 

Ada kala dan masa, jadi cuak pun boleh sebab risau akan kena ujian yang sama lagi. Ada kata istilah serik? Semacam Tuhan nak kata- selagi tak score, selagi tulah takleh grad. Takleh tenang. Takleh lari, tahu?

Sometimes we never feel grateful. Study la sungguh-sungguh ye. 

*** 

In clause with being boring, I tend to also be very disastrous. I noticed I don't crave for simple things like a dream house, a Porsche, 1 million dollars or a big movie career deal, nooooo...........I want things that are far more impossible to obtain. 

Here are some insane wants I have:

1. To watch a movie before it's release. Every time I see a new trailer, and watch it, I get sucked into wanting to find out what the story is about. From beginning till the end. Even trying to find leaks of videos. It kills me if a trailer is months before the actually date of the release--the anticipation is dreadful. 

(Usually when I have watched it, I forget about the whole ruse I made earlier and just go.."meh")

2. To finish with my exams before I have taken them. I know, it's a crazy thing to ask for. But a week before my exam, I always pray that I could just get my marks already. Sometimes I would close my eyes and wish really really hard, that poof! Exams are all over and done with. Funny thing is, I wished the same thing, for every exam I've ever taken. 

3. To be a super hero. Hey, I grew up with Marvel Comics- Batman, X-men and the whole lot of other sets of supers. It really influences your imagination and way of thinking to some extent. I was going to say "superman" but I don't really want to be a man.  But I have no idea what super power I should have? Nothing suits me really. 

It's time I grew up and realized I can't have everything I ever wanted. I'll just have to 1)  journey through the story of life like everyone else, 2) sweat through all the trials, and "prepare" like I know I'm supposed to do, and most importantly

3) stop waiting for the impossible to have the ability to save myself.  

After a few days. Suddenly out of the blue, I just laugh. 

*** 

My friend passed away on the 3rd of December 2011. I don't really know what to say. Words wouldn't really have meaning for either of us now. Not him in the other world, not me, still in this. And truthfully-though some would argue- I actually have no right to say or ask or regret anything in his name. The choices I made were my own, as to was his. 

This separation is only forever. 

And I tell you, from personal experience, forever is a very very short time.